Negotiating with your kids is the best way to avoid power struggles and to “figure it out”, whatever “it” is. It’s coming to an agreement rather than getting involved in an argument, it’s working together as parent and child to negotiate issues that come up.
Tag Archives | Parents
As adults, we all know that stress is a normal part of life. Coping with stress encompasses a skill set that most kids learn through observing their parents. The skills necessary to cope with life are the same for adults as for children.
You want to be heard by your kid, and your kid wants to be heard by you…is that even possible? As the parent, you can set the tone of the discussion, and if you do it right, odds are better that both sides get heard.
Every parent feels somewhat rushed during breakfast, before sending kids off to school and taking of to work. Since it is difficult (if not impossible) to get together with your kids for lunch during school days, it only makes sense that you create “Dinner Time” where you sit at the same table, eat, talk, and enjoy one meal together without distractions or interruptions for a solid twenty minutes. I think your family deserves twenty minutes once a day, don’t you?
Although I could write an entire book on this topic alone, I have only one thing to say: It is essential that you and your spouse have time together for a few hours each week.
Use your support team, resources, babysitters, friends and family to arrange someone to watch your kids so you can spend some uninterrupted, worry-free time with your spouse.
What is the best way to use privileges (or rewards) to motivate kids?
That is every parent’s question. The key to our success is not just what to use as privileges, but how to use them correctly. There’s more to it than “dangling a carrot at the end of a stick,” I assure you.
Let’s focus on how to set boundaries (family rules), the power of intermittent reinforcement, and the importance of consistency.
A couple of years ago, I was providing some parent training for a wonderful family. Their 11-year old son was good at testing limits and pushing boundaries. His parents were responsive to my suggestions and trying to be consistent and clear with their son about the rules.
Kids are naturally good at noticing and taking advantage of discrepancies. It is amazing how quickly even a two-year-old can pick up on the fact that his parents don’t agree about something.
It is essential that you and your parenting partner (from now on referred to as a “co-parent”) set aside some time every day (just a few minutes) to communicate about your kid’s needs and update each other.
Parenting takes teamwork, it takes working together.
Some single parents have told me it can be very lonely and scary at times to raise a child alone; however, sometimes they can appreciate the fact that they don’t have partners would undermine them.
It’s natural and quite common to pay more attention to your kids when they’re being unruly and not paying attention to you. In fact, you may find it’s easy to ignore them when they’re going about their business and doing what they are supposed to be doing.