Should You Allow Your Kids to Make Some Poor Decisions?
There are many facets to helping your kids learn to to be good decision makers.
So far we have covered 3 areas:
- Article #1 – Creating Choices
- Article #2 – Providing Clear Guidelines
- Article #3 – Rewarding Good Decision Making
Today, in this 4th of 6 articles, we will discuss the idea of allowing your kids to make mistakes and poor decisions.
Decisions in a Supportive Environment
Do you want to foster confidence and help your child continue to make good decisions?
If you do, then help your child focus on that important goal by not dwelling on mistakes or allowing him/her to become anxious about making poor choices.
Often parents make the common mistake of focusing too much on what the child did wrong. This practice is often done with the idea of helping kids learn from their mistakes.
As much as I understand the reasoning behind it, I encourage parents to refrain from repeatedly talking about their kid’s past mistakes and poor decisions.
Instead, focus on making better decisions in the future. Then you create a child who will focus on what to do; not one who will be anxious about what not to do.
Your Kid’s Responsibility
Of course, I’m not saying you shouldn’t hold your kid responsible for making poor choices.
What I’m talking about is dwelling on past mistakes.
Building your child’s decision-making skills requires you to focus on the positive. No one is perfect. Allowing some mistakes, but supporting your kid in focusing on how to improve, builds hope and confidence.
In our next article we will talk about Paying Attention to Kids When They’re Good, Not Just When They are Misbehaving.
This is an excerpt from my book “Create Happy Kids”. You can order your copy by clicking on the “Buy Now” button on the right.
Dr. Sherkat speaks to various groups, you can hire her for your next parenting workshop, conference or parenting event.