Family Speaker

Hire a Great Family Speaker to Discuss Avoiding Power Struggles

Image of Reduce Power Struggles - Create Happy KidsDr. Shirin Sherkat Psy.D. will guide you in your efforts to avoid power struggles with your kids as she gives you strategies that will help:

  • Reduce talking back
  • Motivate your kids
  • Bring more order in your home
  • Reduce defiance
  • Increase enjoyment in your family

The art of negotiation can reduce power struggles.

“I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.” ~ Author Unknown

Power struggles happen in every home. I’ve known great parents who still get into occasional power struggles with their kids.

Let’s be realistic; I’m not suggesting it’s possible to eliminate power struggles and arguments altogether. The goal here is to decrease power struggles significantly and create a happier environment.

I’ve used the following analogy often over the years to demonstrate my point:

Image of Power Struggles are like fire - Create Happy KidsA power struggle is like fire. A fire needs fuel (such as dry logs), oxygen, and a heat source (such as a match).

Power struggles are fueled by your agenda to make sure you do right by your kid. The oxygen comes from the energy you and the child put into proving your point or justifying your actions.

And of course, every fire needs a heat source to start it. Usually a power struggle or argument begins with your kid’s mistake. This mistake may be something the child has already done, or something he wants to do that will lead him down a path with which you don’t agree.

In reality, you can prevent a fire by removing any one of the three elements mentioned above from the equation. After all, you can’t have a fire without a starter, fuel or oxygen. Here is where the analogy gets interesting:

I agree that you can’t be a good parent without having a plan to do right by your kids. So the fuel will always exist. Likewise, what starts the fire (your kids’ mistake and poor choice) is not going anywhere. Your kids are human and will make some mistakes.

That leaves oxygen! The oxygen in this analogy represents the energy your kids invest in asserting themselves and standing up for what they believe, and the energy you spend as a concerned parent to help your kids understand that they may be making a mistake.

Parents can redirect, contain, and guide the equation successfully to prevent a big, out-of-control fire.

Negotiate Alternatives

Image of Negotiate Aternate Solutions - Create Happy KidsThere are moments in the first twelve years of your kids’ lives when you can prevent them from making poor choices. At the very least, it is possible to negotiate successful alternatives with them.

To accomplish such negotiation and to decrease power struggles in your home, you need tools – most importantly, the power of negotiation.

To get the tools that Dr. Sherkat is talking about…hire her for your next parenting workshop, conference or parenting event.

Call her the next time you need a speaker, she will customize her topic to your needs.


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