As a parent who wants open and productive communication with their kids, it’s important that you develop some important tools and skills in order to be effective. One such tools is…
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If your kids would listen to you all the time, then you’d be happy because your kids wouldn’t repeat your mistakes and would ward off their own mistakes, right? Wouldn’t that be just heavenly? However, if they listen to you all the time, you will also end up with robot-like kids who think only like you do, take no risks, push no boundaries, invent nothing new, and never learn to assert themselves. Obviously, that’s not what you want. What you really want is a kid who knows when to listen and follow conventional wisdom and when to think for him or herself.
Today I would like to offer just one helpful tool; it’s a powerful one based on a proven behavior modification technique. Behavior scientists, teachers, and parent trainers have used this method for years. I know many parents like you may have used this strategy in some form in the past. When use correctly, it’s magical powers create a child who would comply with your directions and reasonable commands. The principle on which the strategy is based is called Premack’s Principle.
As the adult in the home, more often than not, creating peace in your home is up to you, so I hope these few ideas will find a useful place in your “toolbox”, and your home will be a place of strong relationships, a place of learning and a place where children thrive.
Maintaining peace in your home creates a positive environment where children feel secure and loved, and where family values can be taught and strong relationships built. Use these tools to help you build and maintain a peaceful home.
These are tools and secrets that behaviorists have used for years to maintain positive behaviors. These tools and strategies will help you maintain and continue to foster good choices by your kids. On many occasions, your kids make good decisions, behave well, comply with your request, and simply put – do the right thing! Unfortunately, it’s often when kids misbehave that we notice them.
Let’s say you have a twelve-year-old boy who has enjoyed many privileges up to now – before you understood the principle of earning privileges. How are you going to help him understand that from now on, he needs to earn those privileges?
You have been helping your kids communicated, identify their feelings, and face their fears. Not to mention helping them learn to manage stress and frustration. You’re doing well, until…one day they catch you “losing it!” They overhear you curse and react toward someone in an unfair manner. Now what?
Kids need to learn that their feelings are normal and okay, and that how they act upon their feelings is a choice. The better choices they make, the better the outcomes. Unfortunately how to manage their feelings is the foundation for healthy coping skills.
You want to be heard by your kid, and your kid wants to be heard by you…is that even possible? As the parent, you can set the tone of the discussion, and if you do it right, odds are better that both sides get heard.