My New Years Resolution: Create Happy Parents
“The child supplies the power, but the parents have to do the steering.” ~ Benjamin Spock
Whether you are a single parent or part of a parent team, you always want the best for your kids.
There is no better way to give your children the best than by being a happy parent.
Make being a happy parent your New Years Resolution:
5 easy ways parents can become happier, feel more in control, and also, empower their kids to make better choices:
- Reward good decisions by your kids: This also gives you the opportunity to provide praise, feedback, guidance, reassurance & validation. How awesome is that!
- The best part? When you reward a good behavior, that behavior increases ?
- Allow some mistakes, in a supportive and positive way: This helps foster confidence and not perfectionism.
- When kids make a mistake, help them learn from it, focus on what they could do differently, build on their strengths in a positive and supportive environment.
- Pay attention to kids when they’re being ‘good’: How does this help you empower your kids make better choices? In 3 ways:
- When you’re paying attention, you will be able to capture a teachable moment and share a valuable lesson in the context of your child’s life, versus a missed opportunity.
- You’ll validate your kid for doing something appropriate and build his/her confidence.
- You’ll be able to create a moment to reward or praise & as a result, reinforce a good choice.
- Ignore negative “attention-seeking” behaviors: These kinds of behaviors do indeed get more attention from parents. Instead, redirect your kid to make a different choice (by offering options).
- This is more effective than reacting to the (attention-seeking) negative behavior. Note: Ignoring such behaviors does NOT mean ignoring the child.
- Say it only once & be heard!
Use this magical sentence to increase compliance and motivation: “First, _________ then, ____________”
- For example: “First eat your dinner, Then, you can have ice cream” (the first part of the sentence always includes a simple command about your child’s responsibility; the second half always includes an incentive that is very motivating to your kid).
- Keep this short, clear and concrete if you want it to be powerful and effective!
Excerpt taken from Book: Create Happy Kids—Practical parenting solutions to create motivated, respectful and compliant kids!
By: Dr. Shirin Sherkat
Author, Speaker, Parent Educator and Founder of: Create Happy Kids