How Do You Behave When Your Children Are Behaving?
In our series of articles addressing how we can help our kids become good decision makers, we have covered 4 areas:
- Article #1 – Creating Choices
- Article #2 – Providing Clear Guidelines
- Article #3 – Rewarding Good Decision Making
- Article #4 – Kids Decisions
In this article we’ll discuss how you, as a parent, behave when your…
Children are behaving good
It’s natural and quite common to pay more attention to your kids when they’re being unruly and not paying attention to you. In fact, you may find it’s easy to ignore them when they’re going about their business and doing what they are supposed to be doing.
From time to time, though, you should take time to pay attention to your kids when they’re engaged in a positive activity and doing what they are supposed to be doing – just being kids!
If you pay attention to your kids when they are making good decisions, and take a moment to acknowledge them; then you will:
- Capture a teachable moment – to teach a valuable lesson in the context of your child’s life.
- Validate your child for doing something appropriate.
- Create a moment to reward, praise, and positively reinforce a good choice.
The Importance of Praise
Let’s say you’re teaching your young son to do chores.
After a week or so, you catch him completing one of his chores without a reminder from you. You could keep quiet, or your could recognize what he’s done by saying something, just in passing, such as, “I see that you’re doing one of your chores. I’m proud of you for doing it without needing a reminder from me.”
By telling him you noticed his behavior, and through your words, endorsing his sense of accomplishment, you create in him a sense of pride.
This comment also serves to underscore what you expect from him, which is especially important when he is new to doing chores.
In our final article in this series, we will talk about Ignoring Negative Behaviors.
This is an excerpt from my book “Create Happy Kids”. You can order your copy by clicking on the “Buy Now” button on the right.
Dr. Sherkat speaks to various groups, you can hire her for your next parenting workshop, conference or parenting event.