As the adult in the home, more often than not, creating peace in your home is up to you, so I hope these few ideas will find a useful place in your “toolbox”, and your home will be a place of strong relationships, a place of learning and a place where children thrive.
When your kid faces a natural consequence, he/she is facing the outcome of a decision he has made, whether or not the outcome of that decision is understood, as opposed to punishment, which is an imposed consequence for a decision that was made in spite of any understanding or warning the child may have been given. Which do you use?
The challenges and struggles are in the methods and approaches some families use to teach kids how to discriminate between right and wrong and how to learn accountability. So many parents resort to punishment when they feel nothing they have tried has worked.
Motivation starts with parents helping their kids identify and label privileges correctly. Once kids learn the difference between rights and privileges, they are more motivated to earn such privileges. These kids are less likely to have a sense of entitlement, or to be hurt in the long run by that sense of entitlement.
Let’s say you have a twelve-year-old boy who has enjoyed many privileges up to now – before you understood the principle of earning privileges. How are you going to help him understand that from now on, he needs to earn those privileges?
As I have mentioned before, the first step in motivating your child is for you to create a list of privileges you think may motivate your kids. Great start! Let’s check and make sure that any assumptions made are actually correct. Now it’s time to involve your kid.
You have been helping your kids communicated, identify their feelings, and face their fears. Not to mention helping them learn to manage stress and frustration. You’re doing well, until…one day they catch you “losing it!” They overhear you curse and react toward someone in an unfair manner. Now what?
Teach Kids Coping Skills by Modeling Correct Behaviors “I guess in the end, it doesn’t matter what we wanted. What matters is what we chose to do with the things we had.” – Mira Grant, Deadline In my previous article I discussed Two Steps to Help Your Kid Develop Coping Skills, in this article we’ll discuss how parents can […]
Kids need to learn that their feelings are normal and okay, and that how they act upon their feelings is a choice. The better choices they make, the better the outcomes. Unfortunately how to manage their feelings is the foundation for healthy coping skills.
As adults, we all know that stress is a normal part of life. Coping with stress encompasses a skill set that most kids learn through observing their parents. The skills necessary to cope with life are the same for adults as for children.