CryingCanBeManipulation-CreateHappyKids

Kids Manipulation

It can begin at an early age…your kid learns how to manipulate you. Babies realize that crying gets attention, young kids learn that begging gets them what they want, and as they get older, they learn about guilt trips and other manipulative behaviors. As a parent, your job is to teach your kid that there is greater benefit to negotiating rather than manipulating.

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AvoidPowerStruggles-CreateHappyKids

Negotiate With Kids

Negotiating with your kids is the best way to avoid power struggles and to “figure it out”, whatever “it” is. It’s coming to an agreement rather than getting involved in an argument, it’s working together as parent and child to negotiate issues that come up.

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PowerStruggle-CreateHappyKids

Reducing Power Struggles

One of the best ways to reduce power struggles with your kids is to learn the art of negotiating with them.
There are many moments in the first twelve years of your kids’ lives when you can prevent them from making poor choices. At the very least, it is possible to negotiate successful alternative with them and avoid power struggles. To accomplish such negotiation and to decrease power struggles in your home, you need tools – most importantly, the power of negotiation. Part 2

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ArtofNegotiation-CreateHappyKids

Negotiating With Kids

One of the best ways to reduce power struggles with your kids is to learn the art of negotiating with them.
There are many moments in the first twelve years of your kids’ lives when you can prevent them from making poor choices. At the very least, it is possible to negotiate successful alternative with them and avoid power struggles. To accomplish such negotiation and to decrease power struggles in your home, you need tools – most importantly, the power of negotiation.

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Empathy-CreateHappyKids

Parent Kid Communication

If your kids would listen to you all the time, then you’d be happy because your kids wouldn’t repeat your mistakes and would ward off their own mistakes, right? Wouldn’t that be just heavenly? However, if they listen to you all the time, you will also end up with robot-like kids who think only like you do, take no risks, push no boundaries, invent nothing new, and never learn to assert themselves. Obviously, that’s not what you want. What you really want is a kid who knows when to listen and follow conventional wisdom and when to think for him or herself.

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PositiveReinforcement-CreateHappyKids

Positive Reinforcement

If this tool is used occasionally, it doesn’t lose its potency. Like any strategy or tool, it is most effective when not overused. It can be very powerful to help your kids initiate an action. At times, it’s the igniter they need to take action.

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KidsReward-CreateHappyKids

Kids and Premack’s Principle

Today I would like to offer just one helpful tool; it’s a powerful one based on a proven behavior modification technique. Behavior scientists, teachers, and parent trainers have used this method for years. I know many parents like you may have used this strategy in some form in the past. When use correctly, it’s magical powers create a child who would comply with your directions and reasonable commands. The principle on which the strategy is based is called Premack’s Principle.

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ageappropriateprivileges-shirinsherkat

Appropriate Kids Privileges

I’ve seen many parents get themselves into trouble because their kids are smart or mature for their age and talk them into what they believe they deserve and are able to earn. However, other factors are involved, including environmental, social, and legal standards.

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