Read my latest article:
How to Maintain a Peaceful Home
“Peace begins with a smile.” – Mother Teresa
Maintaining peace in your home creates a positive environment where children feel secure and loved, and where family values can be taught and strong relationships built. Maintaining peace in the home should be an ultimate goal of every parent.
In my previous article, I began sharing some tools and strategies for maintaining peace in your home, and in this article I will continue with more ideas that will help you build that peaceful environment.
Celebrate Small Victories:
For example, you see your nine-year old son, who has been trying to master the multiplication table, doing his homework. He has been feeling a bit frustrated about the process. You notice that he has gotten a few answers correct on his assignment. You take a moment and praise him for that. You may not think praising him is a very important action on your part, but it can be very significant.
Some young adults who are self-critical don’t appreciate strengths in themselves; because they lack self-esteem, they start out as young kids who may be hard on themselves and are not guided to celebrate and appreciate accomplishments. Small accomplishments can lead to bigger accomplishments. A small word of praise, a thumbs-up, or even a simple “good job!” can go a long way in making a small victory into a big accomplishment.
By giving a positive reinforcement, and a little, “Good try buddy” when you see your kids trying to do the right thing, you are rewarding their attempts. Regardless of whether they succeed or not, you want to make sure your kids try their best. After all, you don’t want to raise perfectionists. If you want to foster an environment where your children don’t give up trying to behave, then keep rewarding their attempts at making better decisions. This practice can be very effective in building independence skills in your children and in preventing “meltdowns”.
This is Emily’s story…
Emily noticed her six-year-old son was feeling frustrated while learning to tie his shoelaces. She sat next to him and said, “I am so proud of you for trying. I know you will get this soon. Can I show you an easy way to tie them?” This little praise can help her boy learn that doing his best is important. The added comment of “I know you will get it soon” reminds him that someone has faith in him, which helps build hope. He can either accept the offer of help or insist on completing the task independently. Either way, his attempts have been successfully praised.
If you are short on time and your kid needs to put on his shoes and leave with you immediately, don’t offer help as a choice. Instead of asking, tell your kid, “I have to tie them for you now because we have to leave, but you can choose to practice more when we return home.” By making such a statement, you may have successfully avoided a tantrum or power struggle and supported your child’s attempt to build on his independence skills.
In my next article I will share with you two more valuable tools…
This is an excerpt taken from my book: “Create Happy Kids”
If you would like to read more you can order your copy today by clicking on the “Buy Now” button at the right.
I am available to do Parent Education Workshops, either Private or PTA Sponsored Classes. Contact me at 425-772-6698.